I've always known that I am a complicated person and who really loves me you must do so largely because for loving me no q be extremely patient to cope with my arsenal of defects ... so who has years with me is because I really want to be I guess there .. no person to have on hand just for the holidays more than anything because they are often too busy in 60% of the time.
Sometimes I am a pert and open and sometimes I am an extremely withdrawn because of my insecurity above. But one thing that bothers me, I do not know if all the matter with you but I often find myself in my life with people that bother me, make me feel even more insecure, and to make you want to hide your head under the earth, people almost always captivating personality that I will not deny it now, I envy ... and self-confidence that I envy even more. I feel the need to do things and then never do it because I think people will laugh me (sounds childish, I know) but then I see these people do all that I want and I can not and I feel even worse.
These people will make, darken your day with your presence, make you feel, without them even unwittingly, a mediocrity, without the right to breathe without the right to be in the presence of other people. You resign yourself to being a zero when these people come and live believing that the solution is to avoid them. And I truly believe that is part of the solution ... when something hurts you, throw it away. Why would you suffer unnecessarily? Maybe I should deal with it but I know it is a struggle that I have lost.
It could be envy? always I recognize that I am a jealous person and that certainly is a disease which suffers a lot, especially because you will not be because you feel extremely cruel and unhappy. But no. I know that's not it.
Sometimes there is a moment in the timeline in which those people appear voided when you have marked but sometimes it just is. With little knowledge, potential until you fall rather than trying to do ... but do not try because you know it is bad for you and you rot inside.
do not know whether to be a freak for this, or if I'm not really the only person who feels this way, which is the Achilles heel of anyone who can not even imagine until point to someone harms their mere presence ...
The hardest thing is when people you care about to someone who you want. Having to fight with your mind, your feelings, your fears to do no harm to those who do not deserve and never want to hurt.
Anyway ... my mind and me. Or my fear and I ... a big kiss to everyone and sorry for the pain in the ass! read us!
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